Heart Day

Not gonna lie...today was a rough one. The pregnancy emotions combined with the usual stress of my Tuesday schedule got the best of me. But, I designed this diaper bag tonight at my fave, 1154 Lill Studio in Kansas City, and it's making me feel MUCH better! Oh, and I also designed this wedding invitation for my dear friends Matt and Maggie tonight! They loved it, so SCORE! I think it's pretty cute too...just like them! They are getting married on my birthday, and that's THE best present anyone could give me! WEDDING CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY! Hope you all had a MUCHO FAB Tuesday!

A Great Man...

Sometimes you meet someone in your lifetime who you know is a treasure from that first moment. That's how I felt when I was introduced to Tommy Van Zandt in 2004. I was to be the Account Executive assigned to his commercial real estate business at the agency I was with at the time. Tommy and I hit it off QUICKLY! You see, I'm a daddy's girl somethin' fierce, and I learned quickly that Tommy's great love was being a husband (to one of the most beautiful women I know) and, a father. My heart tends to seek out those types...the "Dad" away from my Dad, if you will. Although no one will EVER, EVER, EVER top my daddy in my heart, a girl can never have too many "dad-figures" to admire when she doesn't get to see hers every day. I found that in my friendship with Tommy Van Zandt. Over the next few years, my career path took me in a few different directions. No matter the direction, Tommy would always check in...like a "dad" would. When I would see him at the gym, at the coffee shop, or out on the town, I always got a "dad" style hug, and that big TVZ smile. One day I saw him in Panera Bread, and he introduced me to one of my future bosses, David Roth, President of WorkMatters, an incredible faith in the workplace ministry, that I later worked for for a little over a year before moving to Oklahoma City. Whoever was a friend of Tommy's was a friend of mine!

About a year and a half ago, I did a rebranding project for Sage Partners, Tommy's commercial real estate company in Fayetteville. Our friendship really, really blossomed during that time when I would office with them about 15 hours a week. We would laugh (he thinks I'm crazy), I would share about my relationship with Dan and how it was progressing, and he would share about his family and kids. He would ask advice on raising teenagers since Dan was a youth pastor and I was fully involved in his ministry. Sweet, sweet times. In fact, similar to what a young man would do with a girl's father, Dan went to Tommy before he proposed to me to let him know what he was planning to do, and ask permission to take me away for a few days. I still have the email Tommy wrote in response to Dan. It was the sweetest thing.

Last February, Tommy was injured cutting limbs in his backyard after the ice storm. He fell from a 10-foot ladder and immediately knew he had broken his neck and was paralyzed from the neck down. Our hearts were completely BROKEN for Tommy and his family. I remember laying in bed the night I found out and just bursting into tears of compassion and hurt for them. I called my husband just bawling. How could something like this happen to such a good, precious, LOVED man? A man who was so active! I used to see Tommy at the gym five mornings a week running before work...an avid outdoorsman...the father of two teenage boys? After a stay at the hospital in Fayetteville, Tommy was moved to Denver to a rehab hospital where he would stay for months. In the meantime, Dan and I moved to Oklahoma City. The last conversation I had on the phone with Tommy was telling him that we were thinking about taking the job in Oklahoma City.

Fast forward to this morning. I had the PRIVILEGE of going back to hear Tommy speak about his experience and his influence at the WorkMatters Eight-to-Five Unplugged event. I also got to see all of my old co-workers from WorkMatters! No one knew I was coming, which was really fun, including Tommy. I snuck in the back door because I was running a few minutes behind the 6:30am start time. Right when I walked in, Tommy and I locked eyes for the first time in over a year, and he winked at me to acknowledge he knew I was there. That was the beginning of the water works for me.

This is an amazing man. The room was PACKED...standing room only...with people who love and admire him for who he was before the accident, and who he has become after. He spoke about how he felt the Holy Spirit on him and in him while he was laying on the ground waiting for someone to find him that day. He spoke about how God is using this situation to influence others in his life on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis. He talked about how prayer really works. He talked about how life can truly change in the time it takes to fall from a 10-foot ladder in your own backyard. Then after, people got to stand up and tell how Tommy has influenced THEIR life.

I didn't say anything in front of the crowd, but wanted to. I would have told Tommy that he is a precious friend and has poured so much into my life. He has been such an example of how a husband should love a wife. I remember him telling me on more than one occasion that he "married WAY out of his league." We would laugh about that and assure him that he, in fact, HAD married out of his league! : ) However, what he doesn't know is that one of the moments I knew I was going to marry Dan was when he told someone I was "out of his league." And that was all because of Tommy. I admire and love him as a business man, a husband, a father, a friend, and most of all, as my brother in Christ. I would have told him that I don't understand why this is God's plan for his life, but I know he must be considered worthy to carry such a ministry position.

People's lives were changed today, and I have no doubt that they are changed every day because of Tommy. I have tears welling up in my eyes right now just thinking of him and how brave and humble and courageous he is. He has embraced this situation with such grace and beauty, and my heart needed to see that after a year. I got to speak with Tommy today and joke around with him like we always did. I "tried" to ask about Robyn (his wife) and the boys, but all he wanted to know about was me...my pregnancy, our house, my job, our church, etc. That's Tommy for ya...typical Tommy. I love that man. I absolutely adore him. And I treasured our time together today. Thanks for who you are, Tommy. You are a precious, precious man.

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday! I was so excited because I thought we were going to get to see our little nugget again! Guess I just thought you got to see them every time. I had hoped this was true because sometimes, when you haven't really been sick at all or had any weird cravings, you wonder if they are really in there. Anywho, we didn't get to see the baby, but we DID get to hear the heartbeat again! And by the sound of it, I think this is what we are having...

Not because it was saying "ribbit", but because they had to chase the precious little thing all over my stomach to keep track of the heartbeat (which is very healthy, by the way)! The nurse even commented that it was a very active baby, and because of that, I might start feeling it sooner than later! I cannot wait for that day!! This also might explain why I've been so dad'gum tired! They baby is active enough for both of us!

We went over some desires and plans with our doctor, whom we LOVE, as well. She asked about where we wanted to deliver, if I wanted to breast or bottle feed, etc. One of the last questions was epidural or natural delivery? Now, those of you who might not know me as well, I've got a little hippy, flower-child, running through my veins. Just enough for me to prefer organic vs. non-organic, make-up that makes you look like you don't have any on, boycott on most over-the-counter and prescription meds (see the movie "The Constant Gardner"), the windows down on the car and up in the house, and truth be told, a shower every other day or so (I take a sink bath on those days...don't worry). So natural childbirth is naturally my first option, and no, I'm not a glutton for punishment. There is something very pure about it in my mind. The way God intended it to be (after the fall, of course). An uninhibited expression of "I am momma, hear me roar." And I'm sure I will roar plenty! Something is so sweet and attractive to me about experiencing every bit of pregnancy, the joys and the pains, right along with this precious lovely one I am growing inside of me. I have been called everything from stupid, to idiot, and everything in between when sharing that with most. I was relieved to find that my doctor fully supports it, with the proper preparation both mentally and physically. It is my desire to spend as much time getting ready for this as I can including, yoga, reading, meditation and pain management breathing. It is also my desire to hire a doula, or labor coach, to help me through it. So, call me what you will, I feel like it's the right thing for me this time. It is in NO WAY an attempt to be SuperWoman. Just something I feel deep down in my spirit.

We will find out what we are having on Thursday, April 29th! I am down with whatever! I will be in love no matter what! My hubby, on the other hand, is smitten with the idea of being a daddy to a baby girl. I think he daydreams in rose-colored glasses already, and I'm SURE he would paint that nursery pink TODAY if I would let him! Cutie! We are pumped, no matter what, and are blessed and honored to be chosen to raise a little one.

With that, any wagers on what we'll be having? Girl or boy?

Heart Day

If I had known this dress existed, I would have married my husband in it. It is so delicate and elegant...and BLUE! Beautiful!

Heart Day #3

I am super busy at work and working through lunch, so this will be a quick "Heart Day" but well worth it!

I have watched this 100 times, and could watch it 100 more. It makes me giggle like a little girl.




Oh, and I'm ready for summer dresses that fit high above my ever-growing tum-tum...like this one...
Happy Tuesday, my dearies!

Might Be the Death of Me

This is what my knees looked like when I woke up this morning. These little things just might be the death of me! HIVES! I have broken out in hives for over a year now. It started on March 7th, 2009, when I was at my parents house for a wedding. I didn't sleep all night because I was itching. I usually only break out on my knees, elbows, ankles, shoulders, etc. and only at night when I am under the covers. I have seen many allergists and I am not allergic to anything. I have Cholinergic Uticaria, or hives that break out due to heat or lack of airflow to the skin. They are chronic and can last anywhere from 6 months to 3-5 years. I've got one year under my belt, so that's good. There are only two things I can do to help them: 1) Take an antihistamine like Allegra or Zyrtec every day. I don't like to take medicine, especially something I have to take every day, so that's out. OR 2) Just get naked and cool off. Which has been my method of choice for a year.

Anyway, if you think to, just say a little prayer for my hives. I just want them to go away for good. They are annoying and have worn out their welcome.

Heart Day #2

So, on this second Heart Day, I thought I would explain the "why" behind Tuesdays being my least favorite day of the week. Tuesday's are blah...for lack of better words. Monday is typically the worst day of choice for most. However, to me, Monday holds a little bit of excitement. Key words being "little bit". You have just come off of the weekend, and somehow things seem new again. Then you get to Tuesday. For me, I have meetings all morning on Tuesday, starting at 9:00am (which is TOUGH to pull off when I am preggers and tired) and ending at noon. So right off the bat, half of my day is squashed. But overall, you are just sitting in the middle of the week, closer to the beginning than you are to the end. And it's just yuck to me.

So with that said, here are my "hearts" for the week...and they certainly make me smile today!

Red lips...AND Sandra Bullock. I love matte red lipstick and I love Sandy at the Oscars.

McDonald's Hot Fudge Sundae! Best hot fudge in the nation...hands down!

These pink peony letter press thank you notes. Love, love, lovey!

This lovely, flowy, feminine, feathery, peach top...bellisimo!

Heart Day #1

Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week. Hands down. It's a lull, a drag, a big fat pain in the you know what. So, in an effort to lift my spirits on Tuesdays, I am going to post a whole slew of things I heart. So instead of being "hard days," Tuesdays will now be known as "heart days." Here's the first dose of things that make me warm and fuzzy and giddy and well, just lovely things...

J'adore this bed and the wallpaper (that's a dirty word)! I am obsessed with this vintage pram! Our baby needs this. Too bad I would have to sell our baby to pay for it! Actively searching for a knock-off.

My Cashy kitty. I might heart him the most off all these things.

Beautiful bassinet. I love you.

Love the horizontal stripes and the lamps hanging above the crib in this nursery.

Love the birds on the ceiling in this nursery!

This nursery is INCREDIBLE!!!! One of our faves for sure!

I just want to drink the pink in this room! And the mom looks like my Brookie!

LOVE the dust ruffles under these cribs! Gorgeous!

I love everything about this girly nursery. Precious!

And last but not least...I heart Sesame Street and Feist FOR SURE!

First Baby MUST-HAVE!!

This is the first of many, I'm sure...but if we have a little girly-girl, you can COUNT on her rockin' these....

You + Me...and BABY makes 3!

I know...I know...I am terrible at keeping up with my blogging. When I really think about all that has happened in our lives over the past year that I HAVEN'T blogged about, I feel like a world-class loser! I promise to be better. I HAVE to be better, because...

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!

That's right...we are going to be parents on (or around) September 17, 2010! We have known for about eight weeks now, and it is still just as exciting to say it as it was when I walked out of that bathroom with a positive pregnancy test in my hand! We were so shocked...so excited...and SO SHOCKED!!

We have been "trying" to get pregnant...well, really just "not preventing" it...since we got married. If you know me well at all, you know I am not a proponent of birth control. Not for any religious reasons, but just not being completely comfortable in my spirit with it FOR ME. We also want as many babies as God wants to give us (hence the reason I LOVE the Duggars!). We had actually stopped "trying", using ovulation strips, etc. in December when we closed on the house. We knew this dwelling was going to take every bit of energy, time, and resources we had, so we just put it on the back-burner. I also had a much-anticipated appointment with a hormone specialist in January that would tell us for sure if we were ovulating correctly and hopefully FINALLY explain my spotting between periods for the past two years. Out of that appointment, they confirmed that my progesterone levels were "normal" and that I had ovulated in January. They sent me skipping away with the word that we should be good to go when everything settles down for us, and "to pretend like we were 16-year-old's in the backseat of a car because they don't want to get knocked up and they do." No joke. The doctor said that to me.

The week after that appointment, I was EXHAUSTED! We had been working for nearly two months on the house and I was plumb tuckered OUT! I was also STARVING like I never had been before...craving the most random things at the same time...which is not too far off for me since I am a food junkie at her finest. Something inside me just kept asking, "are you pregnant?" But I KNEW I wasn't because of the doctor's appointment the week before...so I dismissed. Finally, one Sunday when I couldn't even pry myself off the couch to go to church that morning, I asked Dan to pick up a pregnancy test on his way home from church. Now, had we been really trying and expecting, I would have taken the test by myself and surprised him with the results somehow. But, I KNEW it was going to be negative, so I just hopped up and went in the bathroom and took it, with Dan on the couch watching some man show. The next steps go like this...

1. Pee on stick
2. Notice dominant pink stripe coming through
3. Wait a few and don't see anything else coming through, confirming what I thought
4. Get up and wash hands
5. Out of the corner of my eye see not one, but TWO pink stripes in the window of the test...PREGO!
6. Emerge from bedroom
7. Yell, "Dan! You better get in here! That thing is positive!"
8. Assume it was user error and plan on taking the second test of the 2-pack in the morning
9. Take another test the next morning which is VERY positive!
10. Make appointment with family doctor who confirms the results with a blood test and informs us that we are about five weeks pregnant.
11. Jump, scream, shout, thank Jesus for giving us this baby, pray for health, swear each other to secrecy for the next 10 weeks until we are in the clear

Over the next weeks we found out that my progesterone was IN FACT low, not "normal," so I am taking progesterone for 12 weeks to even me out. That explains why the hormone specialist didn't know I was pregnant when I was in. My progesterone LOOKED "normal" to them, when in fact, it was high for me since I was pregnant. We have also seen our little chicken nugget twice since then, the last time being last Monday when it had its foot in its mouth and the heart beat sounded like a racing horse. (See pic below) Now we are just basking in the thoughts and dreams of being parents...and trying to put together a plan to get this house that we thought we had all the time in the world to finish, finished in 6 months! Not to mention a nursery! (Monetary donations and donations of time are being accepted)


I have never been this sleepy in my life. I have never spent more time in my pajamas, hair in a pony tail, and no make-up in my life. I am just lethargic. It's all I can do to get in the door and in my pj's after work. Praying that part goes away soon, because I am a busy-body at heart and this is killin' me. I have not been that sick though...can I get a hallelujah?? I have been pretty consistenly nauseas, but never sick, sick, sick, proving that God is not just good...He is GREAT!

I have dreamed of this since I was little girl. I am a mother at heart, and have always known it. If you have kids, I have probably loved them as if they were my own at some point in time. I have a heart for children, and have longed for nothing more in life than to be a wife and a mother. God gave me both in a little over a year. Mmmm....so sweet.

So now, we just wait and pray for our little one. Pray for it to grow, grow, grow into a healthy, beautiful, sweet little thing. Pray for it to experience love from us and Jesus before it even enters the world. Pray for it to have a life of joy, passion, purity, kindness, and love for Jesus and others. We have loved this baby since it was just a thought, and pray it feels that already.

Thanks for celebrating with us. YAY! Stay tuned for more baby bid'ness!